I have a bad headache right now and I can’t think of the
right things to do. I can’t focus. I am really depressed and frustrated. I feel
like I have no future. Oh I don’t want to feel this dark negativity on myself
but the thought lingers on my mind. I want to do something to prevent or stop
this but I can’t. I want to let go but I am holding back because of my
obligations to my family. Being the eldest daughter among my two siblings is
hard. My father’s compensation is too small for our daily needs. He’s an alcoholic
and he has this bad temper when he’s drunk. I hate him but at the same time I
love him because without him I can’t go to school and have a decent job that I
have right now. My mom is a plain housewife. She’s sweet and caring but
sometimes she’s lazy to an extent that she will make stories favourable to her
to sneak away from doing household chores. I love my mom so much and I believe
I am her favourite daughter. Hehe. I hope I can have an extra job to help
maximize our monetary budget every month. I also love my two lovely sisters.
They are my source of joy when I felt bad at the office, I have a fight with my
boyfriend or anything that’s bother me. We often quarrel sometimes but we
easily fix our differences fast! I love my family so much although we’re not
that rich. We may have problems but hey I am not complaining about it because I
know we can survive it through the rain.
Thoughts
